Admitted Essay for Brown University: Essay Review

Admitted Essay Reviews
September 17, 2020
Working Under A Tight Word Limit Can Make It Difficult For A Student To Write A Professional And Polished College Essay...

One of the most problematic hurdles that students face when they’re writing their college essays is fighting the urge to write long, drawn-out paragraphs. This urge can be heightened especially if they’re applying for a prestigious school.

Brown University is one of the top Ivy League schools in the U.S., so naturally, when a student is writing their Brown University essay application, they’ll initially feel the need to sound educated, and end up taking an unnecessarily long route to answer the essay prompt.

Writing a long essay is easy; it simply consists of a constant stream of consciousness, almost like a journal entry. On the other hand, iIt’s impressive when a student can answer an essay prompt clearly, concisely, all under a word limit. Knowing what is and isn’t important for a college essay is vital, and ultimately, that’s what college admission officers are looking for when they assign essays with a tight word limit.

An Admitted Essay For Brown University

Why are you drawn to the area(s) of study you indicated earlier in this application? If you are “undecided” or not sure which Brown concentrations match your interests, consider describing more generally the academic topics or modes of thought that engage you currently. (150 word limit)

“I am undecided because I want to explore many different interests without feeling the need to align with any single academic path. With equal fascination, I could discuss political philosophies, economics, and history—all in French. All my intellectual interests are pieces of an immense puzzle. When the pieces come together, an image of boundless knowledge becomes clear. I enjoy being able to think using many different modes because each discipline teaches me another way of approaching problems. The way that political scientists consider how people interact with their governments intrigues me. In the study of history, I am particularly interested in how the past has shaped our present and how the present mirrors the past. We are all impacted by micro and macroeconomic forces daily, and those forces are incredibly engrossing when one is aware of them. The French language is a beautiful window into the equally captivating French culture.”

Our Expert Review

This student did an excellent job at answering the prompt right out of the gate, and followed it up with specific, concrete examples. Not only did they fully answer the prompt, but they went deeper and provided the reasons behind their answer as well as giving the reader a better picture of who they are, which is the ultimate goal of any the college essay.

Also, since the student got the answer out of the way early, he was free to use the rest of his space to be creative and go deeper into his favorite subjects. He was wise to keep his essay short and sweet because it was easy and fun to read, but also impressive because of the upper level vocabulary and well-crafted sentences he used to answer the question. Overall, this student did a great job at blending together the best parts of most well-written essays.

How To Apply This Advice To Your Own College Essays

BE CLEAR AND CONCISE:

When you’re working under a word limit, it’s important that you answer the essay prompt right out of the gate. You don’t have time to go into depth about why you chose a certain major or what you’re thinking about studying at this college. Plus, the admission officers reading your essay will be looking for your plain and simple answer anyway; you might as well begin with it!

Being specific in your answer will also automatically give you a clear and concise essay. You can get specific about any topic by simply asking “Why?” to every general answer you write. For example, if you’re planning on writing “I’m interested in science,” challenge yourself to get more specific than that. Keep asking yourself “Why?” until you get to a conclusion like, “Going to the zoo as a child always made me interested in zoology,” or “I’m passionate about saving animals from abuse so I’ve thought about pursuing animal medicine as a career.”

When writing your own college essays, ask these questions:

  • How can I get as specific as possible so I deliver a clear and concise essay?
  • Where am I going too deep into explanations?
  • How can I cut down longer sentences by simply being straightforward?
  • If I’m under a tight word limit, did I answer the prompt at in the very beginning?

FULLY ANSWER THE PROMPT:

Answering the prompt clearly and concisely is only the half the battle of writing a truly great essay. A great way to go in depth without taking up too much of the word count is to think about what it means to fully answer the prompt. You may have answered the question regarding what you may study in the future, but is there room for you to provide a solid explanation along with concrete examples?

This is slightly different than just being specific. Choosing specificity over generality significantly opens up the space you have to work with. Fully answering the prompt is a creative way to fill that space, and gives you plenty of opportunity to make your essay personal.

When writing your own college essays, ask these questions:

  • How can I take my answer to this question deeper?
  • How can I make it personal by giving concrete examples from my own life experience?

WRITE SEVERAL DRAFTS:

You may follow our advice and feel like you nailed the essay on your first try, but we encourage you to fight this urge. There’s always room for improvement, even in your final draft. The student who wrote this essay obviously went through at least a few rounds of edits, and while his essay was impressive, there were some areas that could have still used some work.

For example, the opening sentence is a little wordy and some of the transitions between sentences could have been smoother. However, because the student executed the previous two points so well, the admission officers were confident in his ability to continue improving while attending their university.

When writing your own college essays, ask these questions:

  • What kind of impression will I be leaving the admission officers after they read my essay for the first time?

The Key To Writing Short College Essays

If you’re aiming to write an honest, straightforward essay, make it your goal to leave out the extra fluff. Don’t worry about sounding smart or impressive; remember that your goal with this essay is to reveal who you are to your readers, and the best way to do that is to be direct in your responses.

To write an impressive essay under a tight word limit:

  • Answer the prompt as early as you can in the essay.
  • Use the prompt to go deeper in detail without using long, drawn-out sentences.
  • Focus on simply being honest and direct, and not on sounding smart or impressive.
  • Write several drafts and ask “Why?” questions to yourself to ensure that you’re writing the most straight-forward essay that you can.

As you begin writing your short essay, follow your gut and simply write what comes naturally to you. Writing several drafts will help you refine your sentences and grammar, but until then, just focus on getting your point across as efficiently as you can.

As always, WeAdmit’s professional counselors provide excellent advice and insight on anything involved with the college application process, from applications to essays, so don’t hesitate to reach out and get another pair of eyes to read your essay. We’re here to help!

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